Do you want to meet my family?
Well, first you have start from the beginning.
This is me as a baby:
This is me and my two sisters. Jodie and Michelle.
Michelle, was born first, by virtue of this, she has always believed this gives her the right to still order us around until the day we die. She gets mad when I tell people this, but she is so much like Lucy Van Pelt (You know that one where Lucy says she will give Linus five good reasons, and then makes a fist?, Yeah that’s Michelle!) that it is like Schultz was in our house. Michelle is the fiercely loyal one with a short temper at the top there. Notice her hair is black. She has 4 children who are the loves of her life.
Jodie, is the super smart egghead know-it-all-and-is-not-afraid-to-tell-you-off-person of our family. She is the one with the most kids (6) and the most to say. She is also the one that believed for a full year that she was adopted because someone (Michelle) told her she was and pointed to her hair color (which she inherited from my Uncle Dan) as proof of such ( Very much an episode of Malcolm in the middle going on there) Jodie is also the one most likely to cook you a very good meal. I like visiting her for this very reason.
Me? I am the one with her head firmly in the clouds, prone to singing and ignoring at will, and generally found with her nose firmly pressed into book, trying to pretend she is not related to these people who seem to have odd tendencies, whilst ignoring her own. I am also the most stubborn and prone to screwing up magnificently simply because I refused to listen to anyone else tell me how to do things. I am also the one with brown hair (I had banana curls until my dad’s second wife cut them off and made my mother want to kill her) Oh, and a tendency to wear socks that have nothing whatsoever in common with the color of the outfit I am wearing.
This is the woman that birthed me:
Try not to be afraid. She’s not as scary as she seems, honest. My mum never took sass from anyone, and she has the best sense of humor. She was a riot to have as a mom because you never knew what the woman would do next. She once hopped on my back and made me piggyback her into the store when I was 16. She also argued with a clerk for 40 minutes trying to get him to take her money for the vending machine man, because it kept giving her money back AND soda. Then there was the time we came home to find her dancing with the vacuum cleaner (I could have made that up for comic effect, but I totally didn’t)
This is my dad:
(He’s the smart ass on the left in the browns shirt. (The Smart ass on the right is Dave.)
My dad was a Vietnam vet and he had a bit of a temper. He was a very proud man and a very opinionated one. He was a hard one to communicate with. Picture a steel rail looking at you with assessing eyes and there you go. He was a pad of butter when it came to children. It was so at odds with the hard-spine man we knew, that seeing him with children often made jaws drop (sometimes even people who were not his kids) He also had an amazingly crafty sense of humor. I am told I have his smile.
He died in a car accident. I miss him a lot.
Oh, and my dad could kick everyone else’s dads ass. Just saying.
My dad got married about 3 times. His last wife was Joann.
Joann, had the rare honor of being the only woman with a bigger temper than my father, and he knew it. She was Italian and could probably cook anyone else’s mom into a coma. If you came to visit we generally gave you a warning, before entering, that she was going to offer you food, and to just say thanks and accept, otherwise she would keep cooking trying to find something that appealed to you. To an Italian woman, there is no such thing as NOT hungry.
Joann died before my dad. She had lung cancer and he missed her so much it about destroyed him. I think it surprised him more than anyone to realize that he had actually met the one person who was his complete match. He missed their arguments and her temper the most, though he would never have admitted it in a million years, where anyone could hear him anyway.
This is my step-sister Shannon, and the person I spent the most time growing up with. As such, she is probably the sister with the most knowledge of my personality and quirky sense of humor. She is also the one who knows how to get me to do something I absolutely 100% refuse to do. I am still trying to figure out how she does that, so I can hide from it when I see it coming. Shannon is, oddly enough, also the most private of my sisters. You have to practically pry information out of her by force. She is also the one most likely to make me bang my head on a desk trying to get her to tell me what is bugging her.
Brian and Robert are the two siblings I have the least contact with and the least history, but what history we do have is always full of wise-assery and smart-assery hi-jinks. My brothers are 2 of the most likely to talk your ear off with tales of their own half-exaggerated brilliance. If they were not so dern likable you would probably not get why I put up with the aforementioned hi-jinks.
This is my step-sister Leann. Leann, is the quietest one. I am still not sure how she managed it, but she grew up with Brian and Robert and still retained her sanity and ability to be quiet if she wanted to be. She is also the one most likely to have suggestions for books I should read or games online I should try out. I have her to blame for a lot of my series addictions. She is generally the one with the most knowledge of what is happening online, she spends a lot of time socializing and chatting with friends while she plays and when I can get her out of her room, she is also good to have on a shopping excursion.
This is my Half-brother Patrick. He lives in another state, so I do not see much of him. He is pretty darned skinny as brothers go. I wonder if I could thread him through a needle? I am pretty sure that would not be possible, mostly because he is stronger than he looks, and also the one with the most battle scars from growing up with me looking after him. (oops..sorry bout that!)
Ok, let’s see. Who else should I introduce you to?
Well, there is my daughter. I have only the one. It took me 6 years to get pregnant, but I was worth it to have her as my daughter.
This is me now, if they told you I was skinny, somebody lied.
So, there you have it. Some of the many people that make up my immediate family. If I told you about all of them (Including the ones that I adopted as family) we would be here all year.