Many hats..

Do you seek to define me?

Well, let me help

This hat is the one I wear

when I am feeling sexy

note the sequins

and the jaunty lace.

This one is my mom hat

extra band-aids and sewing needles

hidden in the brim.

This is my thinking cap

that I stain with ink and paint

creative endeavors

are often the result

of putting it on..thusly

This cap over here

is my night cap

I use it when I need peace

and a bit of fantasy

to help my heart

and soothe my soul

This hat

with the wild patterns

is my sassy side

she dreams of pinching men’s bottoms

and doing things others would consider

a tad risky

cheekiness personified

This is my sister hat

true blue

of course

and this hat

this one over here

with it’s floppy brim

that covers my face

that’s the one I wear

when I am blue

and need to be alone

for a time..to hide my face.

I wear many hats

I am many parts

that make a whole

I am a collection

overflowing the cupboards

and peeping from closets

if you sit here awhile

I am certain

you will find a few

you might enjoy

Giggle fit

I hold my hand over my mouth

in a attempt to stifle

that which would be free

my shoulders hunch

as I vainly attempt

to hold it in

to late I feel it swell

the laughter

it bubbles up from the deepest

parts of my heart

until it comes

forcing it’s way past my lips

with a sly smile and a sexy eyebrow lift

as it passes

as I knew it would

and all hell breaks loose.

Ah the life I live..

a constant state of fruitless apology

and twinkled joy

Loves promise

The core of me knows you

though I have yet to meet you

I am that romantic fool that lingers

over morning dreams that call me

seductively to come back

to rest my weary soul

in arms I must believe exist

I am a fool for love

and this defines my view

of my world

Loving you makes me wise

Loving you makes me strong

Loving you makes me brave

Loving you completes something inside me

I was unaware was missing.

We may never meet

but my soul is still content

I am whole with you

I am whole without you

I am whole from love

that defines me

and makes me more

the gift of you

I will cherish forevermore

I dream of you

and long for your smile

I pray for guidance

I pray for hope

I pray for that moment

that my heart says will one day come

if I follow my path truly.

The core of me waits

paitiently

without remorse

you live in my heart

and I am not lonely

though I am hopeful

that one day

when I am busy

being the joy that lives in me

you will arrive

and take my hand

and acknowledge what I know

already

I am your one

you are my one

We are one

even when apart

and this brings me

serenity.

damn his eyes!

Clever eyes

he has been given!

Clever eyes

all knowing!

He sees things with those eyes

things best left unseen

damn his eyes!

he sees me

and I have never been seen

I have hidden so cleverly

in plain sight

damn his eyes

that see me

that know my secret self

I am unable to come gently

my inner heart is a fighter

and she must not give in

she fights with passion

she fights with blood

she fights because it is all she knows

and his eyes know

they know

and it scares me so

trembles that I have never known

 make me back away

in deep fear

I have never been afraid before

the confusion makes me weak

and the weakness makes me angry

I don’t want this cries my lips

but my heart, that traitor

beats with something new

damn his eyes

damn his eyes that see me

damn his heart I love.

The knowing

my heart knows

I do not know how

or even why

I shake it and ask it to stop

I ask it why it is doing

what it does so blithely

without my permisson

I want to weep

to bang the ground and scream

It’s not fair

It’s not fair

It’s not fair!

I wait for reality to negate it

to prove my heart is false

but even with setbacks

my heart refuses

simply refuses

 to let go

of the knowing

what drives a soul to believe

even when the mortal body

cannot bring itself to do so?

what makes my heart know?

why does it hurt me so?

my heart knows

 it will not budge

it will not budge

it will not budge

though I beg it

though I plead

though I pray

go away

go away

go away

my heart knows something more

than I can comprehend

so in the end

I trust it

though I think my heart

quite insane.

Patience..

Patient is the bird that waits

above my head

he sits and blinks

and ponders thoughts

I can never guess

nor understand

he waits there

calmly

regarding the world

waiting

he knows the right time to move

and takes pleasure

in the stillness he finds

there on the limb

above my head

I have much to learn.

Pause…

With pause and silence

comes inner calm

that tips his hat

to the grace of the soul

surrender

a treasure unspoken

a gift unseen

when all is unbroken

mended and clean

with deep heart sighs

the weary heart relaxes

finding that which it dreamed

the world moves on

and I am

greatly changed.

bubble, bubble theres no trouble.

I love the feeling

it’s warm and wet

flooding over my feet

as I kick the drain

Lovely bubbles make my limbs

into islands

subtle scents drift

like flowers to my nose

I squirt some more.

The warm of the water

makes my muscles relax

I lay back and let my mind wander

Splishing and splashing

doing all the things

I tell my child not to do

oops water over the side

naughty mama

I grin at the thought

she would say that I know

I relax and sigh

no banging on the door

no rush to go

I am home alone

and I am taking

a bubbly bath!

I am stubborn.

Stubbornly I refuse

to let go of what I dream

the winds pull

the rain beats down

the sun heats my tender skin

but I am stubborn

I will mock the wind

“Is that all you got?”

I will mock the rain

“You missed a spot!”

I will mock the sun

“I am not done!”

I will not give up

My dream is my heart

My dream is my soul

My dream is what makes my life run

My dream is what makes my blood beat

I am stubborn

more stubborn than the wind

more stubborn than the rain

more stubborn that the sun

so tell me?

what makes you think I will allow you

a mere man, to stand in my way?

I will not let go.

I will have my dream.

It is not a selfish dream

It is a dream for good

It is a dream for right

It is a dream for peace.

I will have my dream!

I want to save the world

though I am one woman

one soul

one heart

one mind

I am one woman who

WILL NOT STOP!

You can stand there and shake your head

certain I am a fool

or you can move to my back

and join me

link hands with me

let the wind come

let the rain come

let the sun come

I am not one any longer

with you I am two!

What cannot be done by one

will be done by many

but where does many start?

With me

With you

With us!

I will not give up

on my dream!

Have I mentioned

that I am stubborn?

Win-Win

I know we may get the grumbles

I know we may argue

I know we may not see eye to eye

I know we may have disagreements about finance

I know we may have different views on children

I know we may not share the same religion

I know we may not always like each other

but…

I love you.

I cherish you.

I accept you.

We will overcome

with arms that hold tightly

with ears that listen

and tongues that still

with hearts that reach out

with arms that contain and mold

with minds that know the value

of compromise.

These are not obstacles

these are moments

mere moments that pass

like the waves on the sand

we shall move with the tide

sometimes you will win

sometimes I will win

sometimes we will win

but together

with work

we cannot lose!