Chiron in Aries

Ok, soo….read this online: Chiron in Aries and now I feel like I am standing here in my underwear. 

I kinda disagree with the article on one point, it’s not that we forget pain easily and just move on, it’s that we understand that re-living it, over-and-over again, makes it worse and, gives the memory power over you. Aries in Chirons totally refuse to let the situation have even one second more of them than they have already had inflicted. At least, that’s how I see it. 

And yes, we tell you to “get your Ass past”, because we know that once you do, you will begin the process of recovery. Who wouldn’t want to encourage healing begin as soon as possible?

 

Selfie

I’m turning 44 in January.

I’m kinda ok with this me.

img_20170818_0057044_rewind.jpg

She’s got some wrinkles and her hair is sometimes inexplicably given to annoying her, a scar on her throat from a rather hilarious incident with a microwave and rabid stupidity, and eye bags that could carry things in them.

She’s also got a scar on her forehead from where Joey D pushed her forcibly out of a rocking chair and she struck the roof of a dollhouse, a chickenpox scar on the right side of her face, high cheekbones she doesn’t even deserve, hair that refuses to be all one color due to genetics and the evil grey hair monster that is attempting to make her miserable, and a rather peculiar bit of chin hair that she wages battle with on a regular basis.

Nonetheless, it’s me.

Not bad.

 

 

 

Hues and Graces

Tapping into the white,

channeling for chime.

Reliance on the radiance,

the vibrancy of a smile.

The wicked sin,

the shading in,

the repainting of an old mistake.

Press this finger down,

and electrocute your brain.

The sting lasts for days,

but the awakening

is a rewarding balm,

for this scorched soul

in need of paint.

(Lost in hues and graces,

These echoes have faces)

Axis Mundi

As I woke this morning the words Axis Mundi popped into my head. It was random and slightly pausing, as I’d heard the words before from an intellectual friend at work once about 4-5 months ago. I’d done a very quick peek  at the definition (Wikipedia) online when he mentioned it, but haven’t really looked into it, or even thought about it, if I’m honest. So, it was with great shock that I (in looking it up for a more in-depth look after the whole wake-up add-on thingy) found it mentions quite a few things I know a bit of “something, something” about. 

Kundalini, Twin Flames, Light Bearers. Wait, what?

I have mentioned my life is weird right?

A Beautiful Poison by Lydia Kang

What to say. This book captured more than just my imagination, it captured my mind. Though, it was fiction, I learned quite a lot of non-fictional history from reading it. The best books teach you that way, don’t they?

This story begins with three friends meeting again for the first time in four years. They each have their own private reasons for attending this party. They each have a complicated history with one another, tangled emotions, unresolved issues, and memories both sweet and bitter.

When one of the guests dies suspiciously, they begin to unravel each other’s secrets. Each page reveals a little more about how each character was affected and changed by interacting with one another.

Though, the story focuses on the three friends, the ripples of their shared history were started for them by the actions of others, some of which are still casting shadows.

While the main focus of this book is a chain of strange murders, the real mystery is in the slow reveal of who these three people are and what truths they are hiding from each other and themselves.

Lydia Kang brought those characters to life. I could see them, hear them, understand them, even the hard bits..which struck my quiet, and made me put the book down many times, overwhelmed and deeply affected, because her characters were fictional, but you just know they speak for real life experiences. The ones that aren’t spoken about but also existed in those times.

These aren’t lovable characters. They aren’t clean, or particularly reliable storytellers. They have plenty of vices and give you the feeling of an Agatha Christie casting. This is a murder mystery, after all.

The characters are immensely flawed,  horribly dangerously flawed. They each have hidden agendas, secret parts of themselves they don’t feel particularly like explaining to you, the reader, and somewhat selfish viewpoints.

The author explains things in such a way that the story comes to life, and this made it even more compelling, and heartbreaking. Because, her story talks about a specific time in history, a very real history that wasn’t pretty, wasn’t sparkly, it wasn’t even close to glossy. It was realistic, dark, and desperate. I have seen many depictions (both in movies and books) of the  early 1920’s as somewhat glamorous. They amuse but don’t really feel real.

The thing that strikes you with this book, is that it doesn’t just show you the real 1920’s, it lets you see how vulnerable history is, how fragile. Real life in the 1920’s was hard. It wasn’t glamorous. It was complicated, very, very complicated.

I have never understood reading dry facts in history books. That’s not where the real people are. The people, the true history, are in the stories that make history matter to you. The stories that educate you better than any classroom ever could.

I finished the book and found myself having conversation after conversation with myself. All different topics sparked by this one book.

A lot of the story is hard to read. My heart broke a few times. The characters are flawed, every single one of them. They made me realize people are complex creatures. Not wholly, good, not  wholly evil, which, if you think about it too long, makes you a little bit unsettled. Does anyone truly know everything about another person?

The heartbreak element isn’t obvious, it happens like a small sense of sadness. A subtle need to pause and reflect over a stark truth that paralyzes your mind while reading. “Wait, did she just?” Yes. “Wait, did I read that right?” Yes. At points the character is matter-of-fact about the reality while you are attempting to stop imagining yourself in the same position. “Would I have done that?” “How would I have chosen in the same shoes?”

Wow.

I give this one 5 Moons . 🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙