I have you

Fear not,

I have you.

My hands may shake, nervous of your opinion,

but they will not drop something as precious

as this heart.

I will not hesitate

to catch you, to recognize the value

of your tender first attempt

at giving yourself

what your soul needs.

I have you.

You are loved.

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Murphy’s Law of Love

I really enjoyed this program on Dramafever. The finale had some really lovely cinematography. The scene where he wakes up and finds her not in bed, but sitting looking out at the sunrise, was particularly lovely as they shot it sideways (I rotated the photos so you can see my favorite moment photo by photo. These little touches made the romance even more sweet. I just love the creativity of that grouping of shots.

I am soo sad to see the end.


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I am in the database, are you?

Why are racially and ethnically diverse cord blood donors urgently needed?

For a successful transplant, the tissue type of an umbilical cord blood unit or a marrow donor needs to match the patient’s as closely as possible. Tissue types are inherited, so patients are more likely to match someone who shares their racial or ethnic heritage. Patients from racially or ethnically diverse backgrounds often have a harder time finding a match.

Because studies show that cord blood may not need to match a patient as closely as donated bone marrow, cord blood transplants may offer hope to these patients. Many more patients could be helped if cord blood is donated, especially from these groups:

  • Black and African-American
  • American Indian and Alaska Native
  • Asian
  • Hispanic and Latino
  • Native Hawaiian and Other Pacific Islander
  • Multiple race

I have 5 cultures in my background.

  • Indian
  • Irish
  • Dutch
  • German
  • English

I always update the database each time I move. If my Bone Marrow can save anyone with a multiple race or ethnicity, I am all to happy to help.

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Now you’re just messing with me fate

My life is weird.

Am I the only one this stuff happens to? I have, my entire life, had strange signs, happenstance, and fortuitous moments occur around me. I am talking about finding a quarter, when I desperately needed a quarter. Read about something, and then witnessing it myself. Meeting someone that taught me the exact thing I needed to know how to do, just before I needed to know how to do it. Angel numbers. Awakenings. Growth inducing stuff that really, really, changed my life. Dreaming about stuff and having it actually happen. Seeing people’s Auras and knowing things I had no way of knowing. I even get impressions from reading the Tarot. Then, there is the fact, that this stuff doesn’t bother me, or even alarm me anymore, if it ever did.

Why have I never questioned this stuff? Heck if I know. Seems normal to me.

Want an example? I got home and went to my room. Put down all my junk and decided to reset my alarm as I do not need to get up as early tomorrow, as compared to today. The time I set it for was 6:15, perfectly balanced to give me the time I need to get to my bus-stop with 5 minutes to spare. I clicked the button and did a doubletake. The time was now reading 6:15. Did I set the time instead of my alarm? I clicked back, then forward, nope, the PM button was lit. I checked my Kindle and Wham! I realised, it really was exactly 6:15 Pm as I set my clock for the exact same time, only in the AM.

My life is weird.

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Peering at you,

from across the expansive landscape

of cutlery, plateware,

and endless tablecloth.

I catch your smile

and feel warmth coat my heart.

I lift an eyebrow,

in greeting,

and your twinkle

gets a twinkle.

There were other people here,

just a moment ago,

weren’t there?

(That gorgeous peach place setting needed a story, so I wrote one.)

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How I would decorate if I lived In the Tardis

So, when I have the urge to shop, but fuzz is the only thing in my pocket, I collect stuff I would buy, if I had money and, you know, endless Tardis space to store/decorate in.

Here is my top 5 picks of the day. I feel better now.

  1. 90e52d8f51bb7142f6d6ddf97c6efbef
  2. e3fe555e504221930fa2f4b3a1604c99
  3. 8de7071a8a8f8e12d5a08b02709b1779
  4. IMG_8555715107415
  5. c2e726b95587271618f689553a5309fd

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What in the what?

While perusing tarot cards I came upon a teeny tiny image of a card I had to do a double take over. I wasn’t sure I saw, what I thought I saw…so, I clicked and well….See for yourself.

king-of-wands magician

I agree he has aspects of the King of Wands, but I see him more as King of cups. Just a gut feeling.

Anyway, got a chuckle at the adorableness of creativity. People are so fun.

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Try not to get overwhelmed by the pretty

3_of_pentacles 5_of_pentacles the_high_priestess justice 9_of_cups

I was looking at decks of tarot cards and came upon the Samurai deck. Sooo..beautiful. I really liked the work that went into each individual card. I particularly liked the Queen of Cups, as she often comes up as my Significator when I do readings (kinda makes sense,given she is a poetic personality card)

My favorite, of the entire deck, has to be the moon. Which, by the name of my http, should clue you in to my adoration. It makes sense when I reveal my maiden name is Wolf. lol

The Moon, Trees, and Giraffes. :::Shrugs::: I don’t always know why I love what I love. Mostly, I think, memories.

samurai-04997 samurai-049946_of_cups

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Still Learning


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Books I recommend teens read, if they like minions

Teens who like ” Minions” have minds like mine, generally…so, here is my list of books that tweens and teens with a goofy/quirky heart, might like.

Essential books for growing up creative and quirky

  1. Witch of Blackbird Pond
  2. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeliene L’ Engle
  3. So, You Want to be a Wizard? by Diane Duane
  4. On a Pale Horse Piers Anthony
  5. Wild Magic by Tamora Pierce
  6. Behind the Attic Wall by Sylvia Cassedy
  7. Island of the Blue Dolphins by Scott O’Dell
  8. Little House in the Big Wood by Laura Ingalls Wilder
  9. Powers That Be by Anne Mccaffrey
  10. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (My Favorite book of all time)
  11. Lord of the Rings J.R.R. Tolkien
  12. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury
  13. The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
  14. Time Stops for No Mouse by Michael Hoyeye
  15. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
  16. His Dark Materials series by Philip Pullman
  17. The Princess Bride by William Goldman
  18. Mortal Instruments by Cassandra Clare
  19. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
  20. Vampire Academy Series by Richelle Mead
  21. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
  22. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory by Roald Dahl
  23. Life of Pi by Yann Martel
  24. House of Night Series by P.C. Cast
  25. The Last Unicorn by Peter S Beagle
  26. Confessions of Georgia Nicolson series by Louise Rennison
  27. Charlottes Web by E.B.White
  28. Aunt Dimitys Death by Nancy Atherton
  29. Ella Enchanted by Gail Carson Levine
  30. Pippi Longstocking by Astrid Lindgren
  31. The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe by C. S. Lewis
  32. The Lightening Thief by Rick Riordan
  33. Arrows of the Queen by Mercedes Lackey
  34. Ramona the Brave by Beverly Cleary
  35. Fudge by Judy Bloom
  • More to be added as I think of them.

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They have caught on to the fact that, if you knock on my bedroom door,I will let them in and listen, advise, and commiserate, even if I am the worlds biggest introvert. Umm….


I had plans to sink into oblivion for a few hours of complete snore indulgence..Dern it. Where did all these human peoples come from…and how do I scare them away? (Snort laughter is present)

That was earlier…

Now, my back hurts so much I may die or curse…or, more accurately, die, curse, read,curse, yoga, curse, drink iced tea, curse and post to blog ( while cursing)


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Minyao: Chinese Folk Pottery and my weekly update

There is an interesting pottery collection being shown at the Erie Art Museum. I am thinking I would like to go check it out on the week of my next payday. I have not heard much about Chinese Folk Pottery before this, and I am intrigued. What I have learned so far has me wanting to see these pieces for myself.


Waiting. until my next payday, will give me just enough time to devote to learning more about Minyeo. This could get interesting.

I plan to go to the park nearby tomorrow and sit on a blanket and sew. I think I will bring my beady jump-rope along, I spotted myself in the window of a shop as I walked by and um…I need some jumping. Though, many more rushing about days like today at work, and my weight will take care of itself. Phew!! I actually have lost between 5-7 lbs just working the floor in the last 3 weeks. Sitting at that desk really did me 0 favors. Feels really good to move now that I am in a new position working commodities and back of house.

I also found myself intrigued by the current article on musician Frank Turner and his Positive Songs for Negative People. He sounds like an interesting person. I gotta check out his more raved about Album, England Keep My Bones. Hmmm..We shall see.

The music I am DYING to check out, is Joe Locke’s, Love is a Pendulum. Poetic lyricals and a Jazz vibe. Sign me up!!! I am such a Jazz junkie. I don’t know much about either  person listed, but I am always on the lookout for more music. Though, Brown Eyed Soul is my secret obsession, there is always room for more love.

That’s me. How are you?

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Free Tarot Reading

I am interested in seeing how well I do on a Tarot reading for someone with a cold reading (No info beforehand) other than the main topic: Love, Career, Family, or Creativity. Any takers? I am not promising I will get a damn thing right, just curious to see how intuitive I can be without personal contact.

I promise not to completely suck….maybe.

I can also do Astrology, but that requires personal info, which you would need to email for privacy, (or you know, Go here at Astromatrix, which is where I would go and do it anyway, so you can skip the creepy blog lady with my personal deets scenario) It is called Astromatrix and yes, I completely say “Bekki is now entering the matrix” every single time. Snicker.

Here is mine, if you are bored enough.

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I am way too occupied by the internet this week. Um..yeah. that happened.

I keep watching Murphy’s Law of Love, and snorting over the cutest bits.

I wanted Moose Tracks Ice cream, they were out..bought Chocolate Marshmallow instead, yeah..Somewhere along the way I got old and well…ice cream got too sweet or something something. (Say it ain’t so sugar!)

I ate an orange. I liked it way more than the ice cream. 8 year old me just started banging her head on the nearest surface. Sorry lil me.

Work was good. There are way too many flavors of baby food in the world, I have concluded. Something about lining the suckers up as I opened boxes made this very clear.

I inadvertently downloaded erotica instead of Paranormal romance onto my Kindle. Yes, there is a difference. No, I will not explain. All because of my error my bus ride was much more interesting than normal. I may have blushed a little and caused concern. I could not explain and thus, blushed harder. Damned blushing habit!! Curses.

(Voice in head just had 3 min argument with me over 41 years of blushing over rooster words. Bestie M is sooo not allowed to explain why I call them rooster words. Voice in head thinks I am old enough to not be embarrassed by rooster words, HAH!! Tell that to my face, which burns even now! I may be 41, but I was mildly terrified someone had seen what I was reading through a psychic ability or x-ray vision or something. Voice in head is currently laughing at my expense, asshole!)

(These are mind notes on my day and are therefore not required to be properly punctuated or grammer-conscious)

Update: My friends really are interesting people (IE. they crack me up) One said: “Kindles are the brown paper bag of books” Another: “So, did you read it?” and all of them said, in some manner or other: ” You are such a Supafreak!, Get yo freak on!”



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The man with 5 typewriters

I would ask you on a date

but I am as shy, as I am chatty.

A contradiction in pajama pants

with caterpiller questions

and a soul preoccupied by laughter

and the meaning of love,

that most illusive rebel,

whom poets adore, cynics hate,

and men with 5 typewriters embody.

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Weary brow

I know that closed expression,

hiding the cracks, best you can,

with far too many eyes observing.

Your privacy only thinly found

when doors are closed, and locked.

Focus on that corner

because this one has too much in it.

No matter how you spin it, big papa,

you need cotton covers

with smiling, and bare feet.

Silent moments framed by cupped palms

that know how to properly clasp

your tired face.

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Where did this lonely woman come from?

I am usually pretty upbeat. I am an optimistic person generally, so this lonely sad woman, is kinda hard to see in the mirror. I want to be more than I am right now. I deserve happiness, but really, truly, need, to the bottom of my soul, to be ok with having a broken heart right now, because I need to heal. Rushing the process just leaves holes. I have been trying to get over this quickly, but…this is something I have to honor properly too, this sadness. I have to let myself be sad, so I can move forward without regrets.

I will take walks, I think, be outside with the trees I have an affinity for, and sew. Sew my sadness into something beautiful and tangible. I will sit on the front porch in the dark, and think about who I want to be now. It is hard for me. I am use to being alone with my worries. I don’t tend to share my pain. I think I need to get out and be with others more. I have a longing to improve my life. I need a new aim for career, my current job is not my place. I need to find where I belong.

I am very emotional as a person. I am sensitive and completely at home with dreams. I live in my head, so have quite a lot of fantasies piled up, some are even quite sexy. Don’t tell. People assume 40 year olds are dead at the waist.

I want to get more out of my life. Buy real books and visit real art museums. Dabble in connection with people I have never met. Travel and learn from people I never realized I would learn from.

I am not ready yet. I need to heal,but….soon.

I will be ready soon.

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Funko Pop: Confessions of a not yet addict

I am really close to caving and becoming a Funko Pop collector. I know that a collection of plastic vinyl characters creates massive clutter but…..They are sooo cute!!!!!!!!! It is like seeing a Fraggle and wanting to take them home with you. You know you shouldn’t, but It’s a FRAGGLE!!!

Only 1% of readers will identify with the urge to own a Fraggle and how freaking awesome that would be…that 1% may be only me. (Giggle) Omo! A Funko Pop Fraggle… Omo..Omo. Is there one? I may die of heart failure.

Yes, I am a 41 year old with the Sqwee ratio of an 8 year old..why do you ask?

Ok, no Fraggles…but they do have Muppets. ::::Happy Dance :::::

Just look at these and you might understand why I kinda like the way they look. Funko Pop is just plain fun.

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Foghorn Leghorn’s owner is a douche

I have never been so happy NOT to live next door to someone, as I am right now. We have a neighbor a few streets over, lets call him “Summers Eve” it has a ring to it you will understand in a moment.

See, Mr Summer has a rooster. Now, I grew up in the country, so I know roosters, they peck, they crow,and they serve no damned purpose other than strutting around making the chickens hormonal enough to lay eggs. Foghorn Leghorn was pretty much bang on, when it comes to roosters (Yes, I am still bitter about the pecking of my feet you little assholes)

Anyway, Foghorns owner is a douche. Roosters wake up a dawn, DAWN! And the crow, endlessly! For the entire day after dawn happens. On a farm this is no problem, farmer was probably up before the rooster, but I live in the outskirts of the city, where houses almost share a freaking window.

All I could think of on my walk to my bus stop, this morning, was how much his neighbors must want to barbeque his ass, not the rooster, the owner of the rooster.

Just a bit of what my thoughts were like this morning. I admit it, I was grumpy. 6 am is not optimum Bekki time, more like “Leave me alone and I won’t kill you” time.


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Butterflies are my co-pilot

I woke this morning and had the strangest thought. My spirit guide told me that I would see butterflies today, as proof, that angels are with me. So, ok. This was new. Either I was nutso cutlet, for real, or this was truly happening.

So, I kept my book closed on the way to work and looked out the window instead. I saw more hutterflies than I have ever seen in my entire life. I was a bit scared, if I am honest, but also very aware suddenly, that I am not alone.

Started wondering if I was really nutso cutlet, as I believe in God, and spirit guides, but um…this…this was a bit…um…so…then,I saw an angel # not once, but twice…different places. One on a sign and one as I opened my kindle, was the time at that exact moment. Freaky!!

Wait, I am not done, then..I looked up the number online 444


read for yourself. I am understandibly shaken.

Angels can talk. Wow.

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