Fork in the road

I don’t think I have ever felt less like speaking in my entire life. It’s almost like speaking will break my thoughts wide open. My head has so much in it, that I cannot fathom even forming words to explain it properly so it can be comprehensive to others.

I keep closing my eyes as if the closed eyelids will see something that resembles answers. The answers aren’t in my eyelids, they are inside my heart. My heart is speaking, but I’m scared to death of what it has to say. I don’t mind being a fool, it isn’t that. It’s that I have absolutely no proof of why I want to choose the path I want to choose.

So, here I am, sleepless, with a half-formed understanding of what I want.




Vacation Plans

Next week I have taken the entire week off from Sunday to Sunday. I have no solid destination or plans really. The truth is, that during holidays retail stores block out any requests off from November though December and, what with an upcoming store renovation, they will probably extend this until February. Which translates to “I need to get vacation while I can” so…a week. 

Some of the things on my list of loosely considered plans:

#1 Read the entire Amanda M Lee series of Midwest Witches. I have read them before, but not in order. Seriously love Langdon and Bay (his affection for Aunt Tillie’s bacon spell still makes me giggle) 

#2 Catch up on my webtoons. Seriously behind. I’ve missed at least three weeks of updates while doing chart research. 

#3 Work on Shay’s Blackwork stitch. It looks rather interesting so far. I tried rooted thread for the first time and I think I did ok. I have the weirdest habit of trying new ideas when I don’t go with a standard pattern. 

#4 Do a complete Chapter-by-chapter outline for The Ubiquitous Tome, Left with Livvy, and Lexi Morgan. 

#5 Watch a new K drama series. I’m thinking a romance but haven’t decided. 

#6 Complete the Synastry and Composite transcription for project MW5T. I’m transferring all my efforts into journals. Once I’m done with them I can concentrate on my natal aspects for my own chart. I think I need a break from Astrology. It’s doing my heart in. 

#7 Take some walks before Winter sets in. It’s definitely getting colder. 

#8 Transition my room for Winter. It seriously needs rearrangement for the Winter shut-in moments that happen. After all, basements get freaking cold in Winter dude!

#9 Plot my Christmas budget. I hate this part, but it needs done. Meh!!!

#10 Lots of lie-ins. I need to reflect on things and lying in bed is how I do it.