Sometimes startled moments happen


FB_IMG_1473567575422.jpgA few weeks ago I got mugged. I didn’t realize, but it happens to people all the time. The way I felt afterwards was kinda mixed. I knew it was random and it was just a kid, but the event upset me deeply. I wasn’t prepared for how it made me feel. I kept replaying it in my mind, trying to see what I did wrong or decide if I acted correctly according to my sense of integrity and honor.

You see, more than anything, I just wanted to treat the situation with the ethics I strive to uphold in my spiritual path. That is part of living my religion. It is the “way”. As many of you know, I follow the Taoist faith.

It is a religion about finding your truths and discovering the path. I want to live up to my own ethical beliefs. Until something happens to you, you cannot truly know if you have become what you pray to be. What you do without thinking, shows who you have become.

Though something happened that I wish hadn’t, I have learned much about myself I never would have discovered.

I also learned about the people in my life.

My family took me to the police station without complaint, made sure I was ok, gave me lifts and hugs.

One day I discovered new headphones in my locker. For my next Kindle. Do you know how that small gesture helped me heal? That timely reminder that I will go on. That things will be ok? “Here, you’ll need these” a simple thing, but extremely important to my souls needs in that moment.

I kept randomly crying at odd moments. Secretly worried I’d see that girl again and afraid I wouldn’t know what to do, or say. She and her sister struck me. It wounded my heart to have another person do something I would never have done to her, as a pacifist. It also angered me, to be forced to dislike a person, when all I want is to follow the path of loving others. Ghandi. Mother Theresa. Jesus. I want to follow these people’s example. This is who I am, and the anger I felt worried me.

The people I work with humble me. They offered lifts, smiles, encouragement and quiet understanding. I didn’t realize people had learned me so well. So well they respected me and loved me, just the right way for who I am inside. They showed respect for my personal dignity..and it matters. It matters and I noticed.

So, today..these people. They lead me to the front of the store. A group of purple shirts and excited faces greeted me. I was very confused and startled. They presented me with a card. The card alone took my breath. The sentiment showing, once again, that they know me and what I needed better than I did. They know me. I didn’t know. I didn’t realize.

Inside the card. A $70 gift card for Amazon, to put books back onto my new Kindle. A Kindle I named Tadashi, and was never once teased about naming. These people. How can I? How can I show them that the Gift card, while amazing, wasn’t the reason I cried like a complete dork of epic proportions? It wasn’t the Gift Card, it was that other gift.

I have a family I work with. My family. All of them. Mine. Always.

I don’t ever let go of people. These people are mine. Forever.

I think, in the end, I got more than that mugger did. Her soul will encounter Karma. I will not say that I am any better than she, for I don’t know my past lives and the lessons learned from them. I will say, that in this life I am choosing a path that leads me to honor these people who believe in me. These people. These people that make me want to be a good person that treats others the way I want to be treated..

I am truly blessed.

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