Dear cold and flu,

For the abuse of my poor nose, philtrim, and upper lip, I will seek retribution. The bright fiery chapped skin of the aforementioned body parts from continuous sneezing, coughing and runny nose, lead to an incident spanning 8 hours of torture in which my visage was horrendously mocked and given the less than honorable title of “Rudolph” by every member of my team (nicknames have a way of being shared shamelessly)

You sir, are an asshole.

(Ps. Suitable revenge, can and will, be plotted)