There are patterns around me that I don’t always understand. I can see the repeating echo of it, I just don’t know why it’s there, or what purpose it will serve in the long run. Like when I do a tarot reading and it chimes perfectly with something I discovered about myself through reading my astrology chart. How strange to have two completely different things show the same echo. The same aspect of my deep inner.
I find reassurance in these patterns. Certain they are leading me somewhere, even if not quite sure where I’m going to land.
My spirituality urges me to claim faith. To know without knowing. To accept without proof. That’s not easy to do, but I try.
I have many shadows. I’m familiar with them and have embraced their teachings, though they sometimes cause bleeding, the hurting leads to healing. I didn’t always trust that knowledge. I fought hard against it, at first. Now, I know better. The work is daunting, so I just look at the step just ahead of me instead of looking too far forward.
I write these thoughts down because I’m hopeful I’m not the only one with these types of moment’s. Maybe writing them can heal someone else. It would make me very happy to know I have that to offer.
There are two me’s, I think. The me I am with others, and the me I am with myself.
I don’t let others in all that easily. Not even friends I’ve had for absolute years. This me is very quiet, somewhat serious, and very, very contemplative. Maybe I assume nobody wants to hear what she has to say really. She takes ages to speak her thoughts. Some would say too long. Few have that kind of patience.
I wonder if the dreams inside me will ever display their patterns for others to see and if they do, will others understand and accept that these patterns are intimate parts of my soul? Will they treat it properly or tear each stitch apart trying to analyse the meaning?
There are patterns around me. They have meaning, but I don’t always understand where they are leading. I only hope the final result is worthy of the work put into it.