Fork in the road

I don’t think I have ever felt less like speaking in my entire life. It’s almost like speaking will break my thoughts wide open. My head has so much in it, that I cannot fathom even forming words to explain it properly so it can be comprehensive to others.

I keep closing my eyes as if the closed eyelids will see something that resembles answers. The answers aren’t in my eyelids, they are inside my heart. My heart is speaking, but I’m scared to death of what it has to say. I don’t mind being a fool, it isn’t that. It’s that I have absolutely no proof of why I want to choose the path I want to choose.

So, here I am, sleepless, with a half-formed understanding of what I want.