Well, it’s begun.
The drive here was interesting. I have never taken a roadtrip with just my nephews before. I found it..boring. I must say, I prefer Shay’s chattering and bopping to music. Nephews don’t chatter, and they sure as hell don’t bop. They meander, they contemplate, they discuss (at least in front of their 45 year old Auntie!) They listen to music that hurts to hear also. (That’s probably just the bit that’s me getting old though).
My nephew spent a lot of money to take me to Wisconsin. I know this without a doubt. The gas to and from, the rental of the U-haul trailer, even a stopover at a hotel (Stoney Creek was soooo worth it though!) but, oddly enough, it was the work they put in for me that touched me the most deeply.
Carried my boxes up 3 flights of stairs. Made sure I had all my groceries. Checked to make sure I was ok, before making way to leaving.
Now, I know what people say..”That’s what family does” the thing is…I am not use to “that kind” of family. I have one, of course, but mine has ever been a more independent, prove-you-can-do-it-alone, kinda family thing. Learning the meaning is different for other people, doesn’t really change what you have grown up knowing.
We have gotten warmer though, my sisters and I. As we grow we become more demonstrative, more supportive. Our childhood version of “family” isn’t our version. We are becoming at 45-ish, more of that warmer other kind. It just takes time and lots of tentative olive branches.
Sorry…lost on a tangent.
Back to my move.
Got here and tried to tame my butterflies. Incredibly nervous and highly exhausted. Nobody sleeps well in a car. I don’t care what anyone says.
My first impressions after signing the paperwork and seeing my place was “wow, it’s a bit tiny” quickly replaced by “I like it”
I have never truly understood, until this week, just how many people were aware of my struggles to have my own space and home. The many texts, emails, FB and IG comments, made me feel slightly startled and a little bit famous. (lol) (Don’t worry, it didn’t last. I’m too self-critical for prolonged ego)
I’ve had well-wishes and encouragement in abundance. I’ve learned not to breathe a word about needing to buy something at a later time, because damned people keep buying them for me. (The exasperation you hear is from feeling like a freeloader when people buy me stuff. I can’t help it..it’s just not my way)
The funniest comments were ones about how fast I unpacked. Unloading a truck of merch, at work each week, apparently has its side perks.
Soo..unpacked. Yup. My place looks like a home. The dining-table was a bitch to get the legs onto, the sewing table is freaking heavy, the wrought iron shelf came apart in transit and I had to screw everything back together, and I rediscovered stuff I forgot I even owned (oh..I forgot I bought that!)
The downsides? Only a couple.
I am much more aware of my safety because I’m here alone and I’m a teensy bit more lonely. Dammit, they was right about me missing the little floof-balls.
Mostly, I am just sitting here in shock. Now that it’s here, I’m not quite sure what new dream to start dreaming. I’m thinking it will be my book but, what else is out there waiting to be wished?