This is what my mind is like on the inside where it is safely kept under close examination for the safety of others. Please proceed with caution:
Me: I like Iced tea.
Brain: Your English friends think cold tea is an abomination perpetuated by the insane and slightly cracked Americans.
Me: They would…Hot Tea drinkers are such wimps. They have not lived if they have never felt their teeth cringe from too much sweet in their sweet tea.
Brain: They shutter when they hear you refer to Iced Tea..and the idea of adding flavors, like Raspberry, would make them freak out and hide in the bathroom from the horror of such unevolved tastebuds.
Me: Hah!! Wimps!
Brain: They might just remind you that their brains (which they take regularly to the theatre and symphony) are much more evolved then your brain..which, let’s be honest, is not being used to capacity. I mean..we really need to talk about your lack of fashion sense. I mean, I am more than happy to delete the entire compilation of memories of every single Muppet show in existence if you would just…
Me: Freeze you little pink freak!! Don’t you touch one single Muppet!
Brain: ooookkkaayy. (Sigh) I cannot work like this. I mean who devotes an entire synapse branch to song lyrics from the 80’s? At least let me insert some more Shakespeare in there to balance out the bubble-gum pop.
Me: Nope..nah-ah..nothin doin. I need those.
Brain: Sigh* I want to trade places with someone else’s brain..I asked Anne’s brain but it just sniffed in disgust and refused.