I’m tangled in the lengths of my own hair.
Uncertain about who I am becoming,
but, damned glad to no longer be a shadow
underlined by a whisper of sound.
I make noise now.
I curse like a sailor.
Stand and yell like a fire alarm.
Leap into the air.
Twirl in the grass.
Land in the graceless folds of my own arms
I drown myself in reams of startled laughter,
and stand like a crooked gate that’s been newly painted.
I’m tangled, but oddly satisfied.
Seems tangled is what I was always meant to be.
Sorry I’ve been absent so much. I’m working a 5 day stretch. I have Friday off though, really looking forward to it.
My Synastry research is totally amazing.
Sun Opposition Moon
Sun Opposition Venus
Sun Opposition Mars
Sun Trine Jupiter
Sun Sextile Neptune
Sun Sextile Chiron
Sun Opposition P of Fortune
Sun Trine Ascendant
Apparently I’m getting plenty of Sun. (Har har har)
Moon is even more interesting:
Moon Sextile Moon
Moon Sextile Venus
Moon Sextile Mars
Moon Trine Jupiter
Moon Sextile Neptune
Moon Conjunction Pluto
That’s what I’m working on so far.
Update: Apparently, Sun is your public face, Moon is your emotional secret self. I’m kinda happy to see the amount of positive aspects in Moon. It means true friendship and that matters quite a bit to me, given the Synastry is done with my favorite person as the other.
The negative aspects startle me somewhat, because they picked up on the areas I am working hardest to improve in myself. Interesting indeed.
Also, many of the hard aspects are positive in nature which, is kinda funny. Communication is definitely where I need a bit of work. I am quite prone to passionate outbursts without properly listening, especially in the area of criticisms. (I’m working on it!)
Some of the aspects made me blush like a tomato.
Some of them made me intensely startled and a bit wobbly in the knees. The hair stood up on the back of my neck. I never expected that.
In case you wondered:
Synastry is how your aspects, patterns, and planets interact with another person.
Composite is how you are as a unit or couple. It creates a completely new Sun, Moon, etc for you as if you are one person.
To determine if you mesh well as a prospective unit use Synastry. To see how you are seen as a couple, or what you become later as a couple use Composite.
I use Astro-Charts.com
They don’t do any interpreting, just the chart itself along with patterns, aspects, and the like. Be sure to adjust it to your liking in settings. They really do an excellent job.
I also used a very specific program that charts by using the exact coordinates of your birth place and time.
You can also use Astrotheme for finding that.
I selected my favourite person for my practice learning.
I have been really studying my Synastry chart. It has some extremely interesting revelations. It helps me understand myself better and I’m learning a lot by researching Astrology more thoroughly.
If you have an interest in Synastry or Composite Astrology, feel free to use my data from my Astrology page to study it in more detail.
That’s what I’m up to this week.
I wish I could write you for real. I’d make you laugh and tell you stories. Give you someone you can talk to about everything that you wonder about.
If wishes were fishes.
Just be you.
It’s possible to dazzle me. Make me see you as larger than life. Allow me to gloss you into something I can’t ever really touch. Make me see stars. Float on cloud 9 for days and days. Turn my pulse into railway tracks and speeding buses.
I have been there before. That heady rush to see only the shiny exterior. Forgetting that the shine wears off.
The truth is, you can lie to yourself for ages and ages, before you wake to find yourself hurt because the person you imagined, was never real to begin with. You not only bought the rose-colored glasses, you didn’t even notice you’d put them on until they fell off. It isn’t even their fault, it’s yours. They deserve to be themselves. Loved as they are, loving you as you are.
I don’t want to make you walk in the patterns I create. I want you to walk on your own feet. Expecting you to be perfect makes me unable to be imperfect with you, and thus we will slowly falter. You can’t sustain perfection.
That’s not fair…to anyone.
Just be you.
Be the you I have to accept. The you I will occasionally roll my eyes at and sigh in exasperation over. The you I have to work with to get it right. The you I have to compromise with. The you I have to learn patience for. The you that I learn, bit by bit, and day by day. The enduring us.
See, you can make me blush. Make me stammer and sigh. Make me unable to stop shivering when you smile. You can make me feel all those things..but those things, they should only be the beginning. The prelude to more stable things. I like the fancy you, but I love the you that goes barefoot too.
I want more. I want you.
The you that isn’t afraid to stop being perfect. The you that makes mistakes, curses, sometimes even farts. The you that makes me work to learn you. The way you really are.
Don’t let me see you as someone you aren’t. Don’t let me lie to myself, and thus, force you to lie too.
Just be you.
Help me love more than just the you I can see right now. Help me love the you that I will eventually see tomorrow.