Friendships · My favorite person · The Man with 5 Typewriters

Dear Man with 5 Typewriters, June 6, 2017


I thought of you today. As the sky turned inky black and silhouettes of trees began to appear. It made me remember your gaze and the way it brings that same still moment. Gazing at the trees in the dark is like holding someone’s hand. It makes me feel peaceful. Why does my heart palpitate to your gaze? It’s random and strange, but so familiar, at this point, I barely question it anymore.

I don’t mind silence. I chatter throughout the day endlessly. Some would tell you I am never quiet, but they would be wrong. The silence is my gift to myself when my day is done. Time just to be my thoughts.

During the day I am chipper and talkative. It’s a learned behavior that all introverts cultivate. The “work face”. The mask I wear to give my inner self needed distance and privacy while still remaining available to others who constantly demand assistance. It’s not my true face all the time, it’s just one of the faces I put on to be acceptable to others who don’t really want to look any deeper.

The real me is somewhat in the middle, depending on whom I’m with. The me I am at night, is the me I like best. Silent but happy. Contemplative and curious.

The birds are slowly growing quieter. The darkness is almost complete. There are living home sounds happening. Dryer and washer buzzing with muted sound. Someone is walking up the stairs making them creak.

I’m thinking about you. How each photograph taken of you reveals different angles of your face, but still manages not to convey the true you completely. Your face is never the same twice. Your eyes though, they continue to be my favorite contemplation. So many thoughts un-shared with anyone. It makes me curious, but in a way that’s content with not knowing your secrets. I’m just happy and silent.

I wonder if there will be stars.



Friendships · My favorite person · The Man with 5 Typewriters

Dear Man with 5 Typewriters, May 24, 2017

Dear Man with 5 Typewriters, I found myself wondering today what you look forward to after a long day of everyone in your face, and I decided, that if it were me, I’d just want someone to hear my voice. Someone to listen to me and not ask for anything from me. Someone to make me laugh and forget stressful rushing and all the details that I have to check and recheck each day. Someone to pamper me, just a bit. So, here goes.

More than anything, I think you need someone who sees you, not your face, your position, or the trail of your past. Just you, right now. The you that is a person, slightly tired from work and needing to be seen as himself.

So, this is my somewhat awkward attempt to be there for you. I’m going to chatter at you now, the way I would if I were there with you. Interrupt as much as you want. That’s part of being there for each other. (I really hope you’re not thinking I’m  nutso cutlet..I mean, I am kinda..but this is the best I can do to cheer you up)

You just walked in…

“Dude, you look mega tired. Get in the tub, I added a bath bomb in there and it smells like vanilla and green tea. It’s piping hot and I just put a towel in the dryer so jump in and forget everything but the feeling of bubbles and water. You’ve got cute feet.”

“I have a pitcher near the floor, so I can wash your hair. My mum use to wash my hair this way so I know it helps relieve stress. Stop looking at me like that, this is totally ok, just keep your bits covered proper-like. Sheesh, you really are shy.”

“Ok, done. Now finish washing up after this Brown Eyed Soul track ends. I’m going to get you something to eat. The towel is on the toilet lid, all warm from the dryer. Take your time..Brown Eyed Soul is meant to be meandered through. I put some pajama pants and a t-shirt in there with you.”

“Here, I got you a hot pastrami sandwich, with russian and mustard. With a sliced up dill pickle and a Coke. Of course I got chips! Who do you think I am? I got your back! Oh, I didn’t forget the chocolate chip cookie, it’s in the microwave ready for 10 seconds heating to make it perfection. You should never doubt me.”

” I know you usually like Kung-fu movies, but I think you might need a bit of laughter, so I got Kung-fu Panda cued up for us to watch. Just wait, in 30 minutes you’ll be way more relaxed.”

See, laughter is the best. I totally pretended I didn’t see you drifting off a little. I totally get it. Today was rough.  Thanks for not laughing when I cried over an animated movie or getting annoyed when I yelled at the screen.

You have totally seen this movie anyway…stop pretending you haven’t. Did too. Did too. Did. Toooooooo.

Ok, Time for you to go to bed. Nuh-uh, put that work junk away. I totally saw that face, work is done for the day workaholic…I saw that face part 2 also….I’m going to finish up by reading to you. Lie down on the couch. Because your bedroom is too personal, you’ll blush more than you did in the bath dude.

I’m reading The Cerulean’s Secret by Dennis Meredith, I know you’ve never read it, that’s why I picked it. You’ll like it, it’s perfect for you.


He’s asleep. (Smile)

Cover him up. Turn down the light.

Slip out after locking the door.

Good night Typewriter Key.


(Ok, so I know I can’t really do all that, but…I want to ease your listen to the music, read the book preview, and smile…because you know someone cares about you. The real you. The tired you. The you that understands that, though I’m awkward, I’m sincere. Yeah, I’m kinda dorky, but you like that about me, right?)




Not one, but two

2 songs. I can’t stop wanting to hear them. I don’t know why, but, I just keep needing to play them lately.

Justin is responsible for more than one of my past song obsessions. “Mirrors” and “Not a bad thing” are permanent fixtures on my playlist. Sneaky, very sneaky with the making me sing and wanna move my feet thing. I’m watching you, mister!


This is the other one. The music is perfectly paired with her voice. I just love the way she sings.

If you haven’t figured it out I’m a terribly emotional listener. I like songs that sound like poems set to music. Give me a good story and I’m done for every time.



Sorry but, you don’t know what you’re talking about

Ok, so..I don’t get on my soapbox often, but seeing as I am annoyed, I’m getting up here and telling it like it is.

I have been reading reviews of some of my favorite classic Sci-Fi novels and I see an annoying trend.

I don’t like it when people review an old classic and judge it by the current novels of our time. The reviews, I just read, ripped apart my favorite author’s writing style and content as if they were side-by-side with current fiction. It just set me off into a rant of epic proportions.

It’s stupid. Of course it isn’t going to be as good as the books you are reading now, it made the books you are reading now possible. You judgmental bastards!

The science fiction novels of generations ago are more reserved, less sexual, and slightly more tongue in cheek. Why? Because they had never been written before!! They were scrutinized and criticized. Especially authors who decided to add fantasy storylines into the accepted Science Fiction scene. They had to combat two factions. Those who wanted Science Fiction to remain the same (slightly geeky and dominated by male readers) and those who criticized the romantic aspects of this new genre against existing romance novels of the times (slightly girly and dominated by female readers).

Science Fiction Fantasy was definitely made to meld two types of readers and they succeeded fantastically. I freaking loved them.

I had never felt comfortable with romance novels whereby the female lead character was “taken charge of” by the strong, overbearing, yet secretly loving, male lead character. I often felt a strong desire to kick the female characters butt for putting up with such alpha-male chest beating.

Science Fiction Fantasy was my world. Strong female characters and science. Whoa baby!

Science, when I was young, was often considered “boy territory”. I was not encouraged to like it. Things like Auto body, Woodshop, and Science club were places girls weren’t really expected to go.

How annoying.

I liked science. I liked romance. I liked unicorns and talking trees. Space ships and lightsabers. My mom was completely unprepared for her daughter to like Star Wars, Star trek and all things Sci-Fi. My cousin Freddie owned the entire Ewok Village. I was completely envious because I ended up with a freaking Pink She-ra (there is definitely a post on here somewhere about my feelings about that).

So, yeah. The writing wasn’t sexy, like the paranormal and Sci-Fi writing of today. It was understated and quirky. It had valiant characters and daring battles of bravery. There was a lot of thinking without speaking. A lot of characters alone and struggling instead of snuggling.

Nothing wrong with snuggling…but I like a bit of  storytelling with my sexy banter. Ok?

Stop writing reviews in 2017, about books that were the frontrunners of today’s writing, using the same measuring stick as if they were written today. They weren’t. They had to walk the edge of acceptance by society of that time. They didn’t have the freedom to write 50 Shades of Grey type of stories without a whole lot of angry people showing up.

(Side Note**I found 50 Shades rather boring…seriously you want hot sex read Christine Feehan..she kicks 50 Shades of Grey in the ass..but that’s another post altogether)

I find old school Sci-Fi fascinating. They are still just as awesome as the day I read them for the first time. They opened the doors that all those cool new writers walk through.

Anne McCaffrey, Piers Anthony and Mercedes Lackey (to name my favorites) began the second wave of feminism in writing science fiction that had strong female characters, romantic themes, and encouraged girls to enjoy science  fiction in a whole new way.

Those who weren’t around for those first books may never understand just how wonderful and freeing those books made girls of my generation feel. Even so, they can appreciate that the books they love now, had to have come from somewhere..this is where.

Rant over.


Friendships · My favorite person · The Man with 5 Typewriters

Dear Man with 5 Typewriters, : May 18th, 2017


Dear Man with 5 Typewriters,

I have learned that with each success comes a moment of concern. A challenge to your soul, to make you humble perhaps, and sometimes in a bid to crack you open, they misunderstand, on purpose, just to appear wiser and more in control. It’s annoying because your first dream is to have them celebrate with you, but instead they question all your choices.

I have learned these things will always come, not because of you, but because of them. They don’t understand because they can’t. They can only see backwards, which is why you exist in a perpetual state of explanation that they can’t understand until your today catches up to their tomorrow.

This is why trail blazers feel so alone on their path. They see the framed form but not the solid structure, and that works for them. They accept the truth that an idea changes to suit itself, and will, in the end, be what it chooses to be. The others cannot get past the need to touch a thing before they believe in it.



Urban Vinyl: A newbies introduction to designer toy collecting

4467797eb86aa7a255fdf3f3ad035be9What is an Urban Vinyl?

An Urban Vinyl is a type of designer toy. They are made for adult collectors that crave art, but want it on a more “low brow” or “tactile” scale. There are many materials used in designer toy manufacturing such as resin, wood, latex, plastic, and metal. I will be focusing on vinyls. As they are the ones that appeal to my interests (although resin artist 2petalrose definitely has me in a love spiral with his pieces. I will be featuring his work in a separate article at a later date.) 

Urban Vinyl collectibles started from humble beginnings as the creative work of artist Michael Lau (who is generally credited with starting the movement in the 1990’s). It has a hip-hop, graffiti, art, and musical vibe rising from urban areas in Asia (Japan and Hong Kong) the U.S., and Europe. It’s got a definite pop culture flavor, features mostly limited runs, focuses on original and highly artistic design, and showcases artists in a manner that encourages touching and getting close to art in a whole new way.

Most pieces run between around $6-$50, which, for art, could be considered pretty reasonable. Of course, it can go well beyond that price range with custom designs, limited editions, and special commissions.

Designer toys aren’t made to be played with by children. These are adult art pieces that can be handled like a toy, but should primarily be handled gently to prevent wear or paint damage. An important distinction.

While there can sometimes be a lot of cross-over between toy and art, (I’m looking at you Funko) most will agree that vinyls tend to be primarily adult collected. They can be handled much like one handles an action figure or plastic toy, but these pieces can and should be treated like art, especially if it’s not your own personal collection you are viewing.

Even in your own personal collecting a general rule of collecting is to keep the pieces in as mint condition as possible. After all, collecting an entire collection of pieces takes dedication, time, money and effort.

Over the next few months I will be learning all about the different artists, styles, and types of Urban Vinyls out there. I’m a definite newbie so I will be taking my time and asking lots of questions.

It should be a ton of fun.

Sources section:


63 Vinyl Artists You Should Know



Vinyl post delayed until later this evening (Monday May 15th)

Due to uncharacteristically being scheduled to work Sunday (I usually don’t work a Sunday because the buses having an extremely short run schedule on Sunday’s) since its was Mother’s Day.

I will post the originally scheduled post around 2 pm instead, as I have today off.

To make it worth your while, here are some pictures of some the ones I found online that amused me this week.




Irritation is my friend

I, like many people, really hate being irritated. I try to contain these inconsiderate impulses that the irritations cause. These unkind inward thoughts, knowing, quite well, that they are not “right” thoughts. They generally build up, bubble and bubble, until something (or someone) finally pushes me too far, and I snap, like a damned twig, and let all my feelings out in one go.

The thing that most gets me, in this new understanding I have of the universe along my enlightenment path, is that irritation is actually helping me.

What? Helping me? Yes. Helping.

Irritation is my friend. It alerts me to the shadows I still haven’t conquered. Unhappiness I haven’t faced. Baggage I haven’t handled. Oh, the checked bags of my life!

Irritation is like pain. It doesn’t mean to be hard on us, it’s meant to alert you to something that’s going on that needs our attention.

Like  an oyster with a grain of sand, we get irritated and irritated, over and over again, but if we truly soothe ourselves, truly accept this central warning system as the friend it is, we become powerful in our quest for serenity.

We find the reward of our constant attention to the problem in our future ability to feel the irritation less and less because we acknowledged the problem, soothed our issues..not once, but many times.

Oysters don’t ignore the sand, they create something to reduce the irritation..and a curious thing happens…a beautiful pearl develops within them.

We call that pearl serenity.


Death to apathy

It’s those middle days that get you.

The same old step.

The worn path.

The memorized passage

you no longer bother to read.

You stop looking for sunsets.

Stop appreciating sunrises.

The stars twinkle, but you don’t look up.

Your heart forgets its longing dream

and settles into the same steady beat.

My dearest wish, for you

is glorious upheaval.

Sudden change.

Wondrous challenge

that leads you into a new pattern.

Your eyes awakened to the beauty

You forgot how to see.


Editing for Hamilton

Let’s be honest, editing for the first 3 Chapters was dead easy today, mostly because they are the Chapters I read and re-read the most while writing the book. I still consider the first Chapter my favorite though, every chapter seems to have something I like about it, comes with falling in love with your own work, I think.

As for the ideas for the Ubiquitous Tome. I have been seriously considering writing something of a multi-world theme with each member of the story living in a completely different world and connected by these incredible tomes. The fun of creating each world cannot be contained in one Bex. Imagine the bounciest ball you can and add extra sugar and you have my strange hyperactive passion over the merest idea of it.

The other thought I am considering incorporating in, is the concept of twin-tree souls, which I mentioned in the Juniper/Junie post. I think my trees will most definitely have to be similar to the Wizard of Oz trees. Completely able to move and speak to others, obviously this would be in a world similar to Earth but more magical in nature. I also need to think on my main characters and come up with names for them.

As for the vinyl research, I have already read up on several articles and posts online that feature them. I am no expert so I need to write from the standpoint of a total noob who is learning about it from the bottom. Could be fun to share what I am learning from the very beginning and see how far it takes me.

So, that’s me so far today.



What I’m up to now

Ok, so with my first book finally completed, its definitely come down to serious editing now. I will really be focusing on that in the next three weeks, as well as, playing with ideas for The Ubiquitous Tome storyline, which is my next ambitious project.

The editing is quickly becoming my favorite part about writing a book. I just love reading over bits and pieces and making them smoother and less cluttered in structure.

Since I’m a poet, I have a real love of the melody aspect of rhythm. The reading of the story out loud should be just as much fun as the story itself.

I am also really focused on making the passages fun to read. I like to make the words somewhat like a painting, sparking thoughts and imagery as you go along and leading you to the same feeling of balance and meter you get from a well written poem. I think that balance and bounce in writing is what makes stories so fun to read over and over again.

This aspect of my writing is probably why the passage in chapter one where Hamilton is described as seeing birds and has this hilarious inner dialog is so precious to me.

Anyway, that’s going on.

The  Ubiquitous Tome storyboarding is, let’s be honest, exceptionally exciting. Limitless possibilities that sprout from your head as you begin something that could become something else. So..much. fun.

I am also adding in a few incentives to keep me going. Since I enjoy creative ways to give myself a break from my writing, once in a while, (writing and research are part off the fun stuff for me but, I can sometimes push myself too hard to get stuff done quickly and end up with writers block) I have decided to indulge myself and learn about the hottest contemporary adult vinyl figure design artists and their creative work, when I complete each of my weekly goals.

The world of vinyl figures has been a growing industry for years now and I think it’s going to evolve even more over the next 5 years into a major art movement.

I truly think people are becoming much more personalized in their creative expression and part of that, is challenging and expanding the accepted concept of what is considered serious art.

Collectors and artists have begun displaying and conveying their creativity in thought provoking, inspirational, and often uniquely individualistic ways. No two collections are the same!

Each piece becomes an expression of who they are, what they enjoy, and their memories and feelings. I think the ability to choose pieces that express aspects of who they are is part of why vinyls are so popular.

Vinyl is versatile, very affordable, and tactile. Letting a person really get close to their art. I cannot wait to learn more about this fascinating topic!

I know giving myself more homework sounds counter-productive to the word ‘relax’ but honestly, learning is my greatest pleasure in life. Indulgence in researching a topic that excites me is a serious pleasure and a fitting reward for my hard work.

My goal each week (day off) is 5 Chapters edited and made all pretty and shiny. If I accomplish that I will post an article, on my blog, on an artist I am learning about. I only get to post if I succeed in my set goal. (Huff)

Look for it on Sundays for the next 4 weeks. If it gets interest I might make it a regularly featured spot (I said that like people actually read my blog…lol).

So, yeah, that’s what I’m up to…

Ps. I’m soo I excited about the research on vinyls, that my co-workers can’t seem to shut me up about it. You poor poor sots! Me with a prospective new learning experience is slightly terrifying for the uninitiated to witness. (Heh heh) They’ll learn soon enough.

This is going to be fun.



Living in joy

This is going to sound weird. 

I will never wish to be 21 again. Actually, I won’t ever wish to be anything but the age I am in each successive moment.

Some people do. Maybe not 21, but younger than they are currently. They long for days things were easier to understand. When they thought they had stuff figured out, or at least didn’t mind not having the right answers so much. They like the idea they would do it better, cherish it more, embrace it more fiercely.

Me? I don’t crave the past. I never have. I worship the lessons. The memories and the sweetness of knowing where I come from, certainly, but not the age I was, never that.

It’s not that I don’t remember what it was like, it’s more like I did it already.  I tasted it. I experienced each moment and it was sweet, because it came once. It had more value for its limits.

I like not knowing what’s next. The surprise of it. I look toward tomorrow insatiably curious about what I will see, learn, experience.

There will be pains in my tomorrow’s certainly, there always is. No one is exempt from pain, and somehow that actually makes it ok. The fact that everyone is equal in pain. We think we have more, but really, no man escapes their portion. It’s just hard to see when we are feeling our own.

They say, if we set out each of our pains. Lined up head to head next to one another and really saw each pain as it truly is, we’d all most like take our own back instead of trading.

I believe owning my pain balances out the pain of others, so I don’t mind so much. Who would turn down their portion, if they discovered it saved another from it? Who wouldn’t take their portion if it meant a child would hurt less,  a victim wasn’t victimized, someone’s few moments of hurt reduced itself in sharpness? I’d take more than my portion, if I’m honest. I’ve seen pain and endured it. I can and will again. (I’m ready for you ya bastad’).

I have always lived without regret. I have made mistakes, but they made me grow and I cherish those lessons, they somehow make me strong. Even bad memories have a sneaky sanctity that makes them less regrettable in looking them over. They made me myself, and I’m having the most amazing love affair with her these days. 

I have learned the value of silence. Long walks and deep sniffs of air filling the spaces of my lungs and pushing out the grey dust that accumulated. Oh, how much I long after trees to walk under. How I stare lovingly at sunlight patches through bus Windows.

I know, I sound a nutter, but I can’t help it, I just love being the age I am.

There are people who haven’t lived as long as I have. Lives cut short for some reason or other. Lives that didn’t get to be lived. My biggest task in this life is to live thoroughly. To bemoan my life is to insult the dead. They would give anything for my crappy day. They would savor every morsel of food, every  soft wind, every single drop of rain. There are those who haven’t had my years, and I honor them by living in joy. They can’t, so I live for them. Fiercely I hug each year to me. I yell out to the sky “Do you see me living Grampa? Do you hear my thanks Daddy? Can you feel my awe Mom?”

Life is short. 100 years is all we get, if we are lucky. I want to remember every single year, even more than this, I want to feel every single moment of it.

I don’t want to live again, I’m too busy living NOW!!


Silent thoughts

There is something strangely mesmerizing about the trees outside my window.

During dark nights theye resemble inky black shadows with the darker sky behind making them feel like silhouettes of some forgotten piece of art.

During windy nights they move. Swaying to the wind in a dance that feels like timelessness.

Random thoughts, I know, but still worthy of speaking.

I hope I look as mesmerizing when I am anywhere near as old as they.


Friendships · My favorite person · The Man with 5 Typewriters

Dear Man with 5 typewriters

Screenshot_2017-04-15-03-15-26~01~01~011) You mentioned that one of your “I wish I could have” roles includes Han Solo.

Total Woot!! If you add Indiana Jones on there too I am totally onboard awesome city. (That means I approve your selection)

Side note: The Song “Ridin Solo” by Jason Derulo made my sister laugh at me for at least 20 minutes because I thought he was saying “Han Solo”. Apparently I wasn’t alone as they came out with this online:

2) Every time you say the name of the band (Becky) in interviews, I totally hit rewind because “He totally just said my name!!” (It’s a ME thing.)